oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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