That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
