I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
