I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
you didnt know i had herpes?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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