There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize