their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize