in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
