I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
