It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
