The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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