he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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