Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
