Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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