Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Houston, we have a blender
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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