At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
