Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
