508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
