Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize