At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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