one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
