are you still at the devil's house?
I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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