im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
