at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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