a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
