He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
