Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
