She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
where am i from again
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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