road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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