i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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