You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
