He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
