don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize