eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
