whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Randomize
