Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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