two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
