so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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