why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
