i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
