My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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