Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i may or may not be watching the land before time
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
