I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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