you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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