ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
