Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
