I feel like I'm in dance class right now
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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