an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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