I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Randomize
