Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
