Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
