you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
