took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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