"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
