I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
