i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
