she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
