thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
