need another drink. this is the easiest way
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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