Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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