so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
