Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
