matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
