I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
