I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
