Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
