No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
