I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
