My first STD was from a foam party
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
