i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
