This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
